Being Fair to God...
If you are given a gift, something that comes so natural to you that you feel like you were born with it, do you have a responsibility to Source to share it? If you choose not to, are you somehow being unfair to Source?
Of course, the answer to this question in practicality is no. The idea of fairness hinges on the experience of judgment, or the concept that some things should be and others shouldn’t. So it’s impossible to be unfair to an energy Source that only recognizes what is…not what should be. Or to put it more simply, since God keeps no record of rights or wrongs, it’s impossible to definitively be unfair to God. It is possible, however, for humans to take what we have been given for granted. I should start by saying that, over the years, my experience of GOD has changed greatly. I no longer think of GOD as a distant superhero in the sky, God is also not a he or she to me anymore. God is more of an “it”. And said “it” is so big it that it can be everywhere and in everyone at the same time. It is also so diverse that it chooses to express itself in both the collective and individual reality of every human being. We are the way in which God expresses itself, and because of this, when we choose not to express ourselves, there is a part of me that feels we are doing an injustice (however small or theoretical it may be) to our very creator.
Over the years, as I see the myth of separation between human beings widen, my views on spiritual fairness have grown stronger. I know now that no matter how separate we appear, in reality we are interconnected in ways that we can’t even explain. Even more than that, our gifts seem to be one of the most obvious and direct ways that we remember that connection. Think about it, when someone sings a beautiful song, everyone feels better for the hearing of it. Which is more, the feeling happens at the same time to everyone. Pause for a moment to remember the energy at concerts, book readings, or Sunday morning sermons. In those moments everyone can feel a beauty of human connection, and someone’s gift is usually the medium for that connection. In my opinion, the that very gift is GOD.
Now let me back up for a minute, because I know firsthand how real our human problems and insecurities feel. Having struggled with money issues and depression my whole life, issues of validation and worthiness have permeated almost every decision I have ever made. So, when I started to pursue my career as a writer, fear showed up there too (surprise, surprise). In fact, if I’m honest, I have probably been more afraid and felt more inadequate during this past year than I ever have before. It’s really hard to put your words, feelings and thoughts out there for the world to see and just deal with whatever the world’s reaction is. (It’s especially hard for someone who has approval and validation issues). But in the midst of all that, I can’t deny the beauty that I am able to create in the moments that I just allow myself to do what comes naturally me. Whether that is write, do workshops or provide counsel to people.
Recently, I realized that of all the reasons I can think of not to write, or not to share what I write, not one of them have anything to do with actual confidence in my skill, ability or desire. It’s all about perception. It’s all about validation, or fear, or money or some other man-made problem that has absolutely nothing to do with GOD or its desire to express compassion, understanding or truth through me. It also has nothing to do with my innate understanding that while each of us an individual is one of many manifestations of Source, the way GOD expresses through us is just as unique our DNA. Meaning that of all the writers in the world, there will never be another writer who expresses quite like I do. So there is no use is trying to convince myself that my not writing will not cause some a cosmic void (it will).
Of course, someone else will write, but not like me. I hope you know that the same is true for you. God chose you to do what you do for a reason. Your experiences, your skin, your mind, your choice of words, all come together to form the perfect canvass for the energy that GOD wants to express through you. That’s why you have the talent in the first place; to bring unity to all of the other seemingly separate parts of GOD that come together whenever you do what you do best. Your fear is self-created and self-sustained by laws formed out of ignorance; ignorance of our inherent connection and of our collective duty to the Source that created us.
The world and our lives and in general are full of fear. The fear of failing, the fear of disappointing God and so on, but what I’ve learned is at the root of all these fears is a more general fear of pain or being hurt. And each of these feelings hinge on an even more general ideal of the destruction of our self-image. Since in many ways enthusiasm is about reframing fear, I challenge you to commit to being more excited about you gift than you are afraid to share it. Release you worthiness experience from the opinions of other people and rest in your ability to bring others together by virtue of your gift.